Errors
1. "...your eyes fall up several titles of textbooks..."
Problem: I wrote up, instead of upon.
"...your eyes fall upon several titles of textbooks..."
2. "After asking the bookstore why some classes at BYU required custom edition textbooks..."
Problem: I changed tenses in the middle of this sentence. The word required should be changed to require.
"After asking the bookstore why some classes at BYU require custom edition textbooks..."
3. "For instance, I know several students that search amazon.com for the best deals on the books they need each semester and when book-sell-back comes around, they actually make money selling back their books."
Problem: This is a run-on sentence and should be separated into two parts.
"For instance, I know several students that search amazon.com for the best deals on the books they need each semester. By the time book-sell-back comes around, they actually make money selling back their books."
4. "...the textbook buying process can be a little less dreadful of an experience and an experience that won't break the bank."
Problem: I repeated the word experience twice in the same sentence.
"the textbook buying process can be a little less dreadful and be an experience that won't break the bank."
5. "It's that time of year again; textbook purchasing time!"
Problem: I need to change the semi-colon to a comma because it is linking both an independent and a dependent clause.
"It's that time of year again, textbook purchasing time!"
Peer Reviews
I am usually not a big fan of peer reviews. From my past experiences, I found them to be very unproductive and a waste of time. I also usually have a hard time coming up with suggestions or comments to write on the papers because I feel like I don't know any more than the writer's do. However, the peer review that we had on Wednesday in class was one of the most beneficial peer reviews that I have ever been apart of. The comments that the members of my group gave were very helpful and are definitely helping to improve my writing. Thanks guys! :)
Good. On example four, you might revise it one step further to say something like this: "the textbook buyback process can be a less dreadful experience that won't break the bank..." or something akin to that.
ReplyDeleteAlso, for number five, I would change the comma to a colon. (see Writing Matters pg. 299, number one).
I'm glad the peer review was helpful!
It seems to me that everyone feels pretty much the same way about peer review. I'm glad that as a class we could come together and lift each other. Want some crackers with that cheese?:) Anyway, I do agree with what you said about peer reviews and way to find some punctuation errors in your paper!
ReplyDeleteThat is exactly how I feel about peer reviews. Don't usually like 'em, but this one was surprisingly good. Looks like the way you do the review makes a big difference on whether it's effective or not. Good to know!
ReplyDeleteGood job! Also, I'm not entirely sure but I think you might need to change "that" in sentence #3 to "who". So the sentence would be: "I know several students who search amazon.com..." Again, I don't know if this is a rule, but it just makes more sense to me to say "who" when talking about people. Oh, and good job on your peer review comment. You gave really good comments too!
ReplyDelete